Saturday, December 22, 2007

am i really to blame for all of this...?

ok. i'm having mother-guilt overload.

i feel guilty because ezekiel is/was crying and not taking a nap (he used to nap exactly at 10am and 3pm, i guess its switched to 12noon as he just stopped crying exactly then. even though he's been up since 6am, i thought he'd definitely go to sleep by 10am. i guess he's getting older).

i feel guilty because since ezekiel's first birthday party (november 25) diedre has completely regressed to potty accidents/diapers etc. she was having about 95 per cent success and wore underpants all the time. after the party, it was accident, accident, accident. so i blamed myself, thinking the party/gifts was too overwhelming for her little 2 and a half year old emotions to handle, and thus, the regression.

and now, i feel guilty because today, she is wearing underpants and having success. she has had 4 or 5 successes so far and its only noon. the reason i feel guilty is because i think maybe her having the extra attention from having grammy and grandpa here is enabling her to be success; which means that i was neglecting her and not giving her the security to have convoluted is that!? but that's my mind and my guilt...although writing this is helping.