Thursday, January 29, 2009

things are looking up

after being sick since last friday, and very very sick at times with a very nasty cold, weight loss was on my mind but behind juice, tea, comfort food, and rest. after taking care of myself as much as possible while having 3 small children, i gained 0.6 lb at tonight's weigh in. no biggie. i'm motivated to get back at my wii fit and count my points this week coming.

the last time i worked out on my wii fit, i actually broke a sweat and it felt awesome! i havent "worked out" for a long time. i realize now that i have an issue called Diastasis Recti (separation of the abdominal muscles) as a result of my pregnancies. i found some great exercises that i have yet to begin because of being sick.

i'm still "planning" on having one more baby, but i really want to make sure my body can handle it because this past time, it was not so....ouchie. things were baaaad. anyway, after having a wonderful, beautiful, healthy third child, i am still planning to go ahead with another, i'm just thinking through the timing/spacing from this baby as well as my health. i'm glad to know that my ab separation has lessened since i've started my wii fit workouts (mostly from the yoga poses, i'd venture to guess). i have a check up with my dr. in two weeks so i'm looking forward to seeing how low my weight will be as well as the ab separation because the article claims that these exercises should bring improvement rather quickly. i have been feeling sore at my belly button, like its slightly herniated, so i hope that settles soon too.

i had a pretty melancholy day the other day, and i know that its all about what i focus on. there are great women that i am friends with out there, but there have just been a few things that have happened that have made me feel attacked, ignored, not cared about...i choose to let those things go in lieu of better days, better friends, better interactions.

now, i'm going to go have a little more chocolate before i get back on the program full force tomorrow!

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

why me?

okay, feeling melancholic.

so, i've had a really good week as far as counting points and fitting in a bit of fitness most days. today was a bit of a write-off for points because i had this moms group where there's just a bunch of food. i tried to make wise choices, but i did throw in a bit of almond rocha...

anyway, my "why me?" is about me being such a sensitive person. i HAAAAAATE it. i dont want to be insecure or petty or whatever, but i CANNOT help it. i have thoughts and trains of thought that when i say it out loud to someone who is NOT sensitive (ie. bounce an idea off a friend) they say things like "i dont think anyone would think like that." but obviously i do, so some people must that being written, i am extra conscious of others because i wouldnt want them to be offended, like i might be, but most likely, they would not be.

is there anyway to UNLEARN this annoying personality trait? i so, do not want to pass it onto my kids!

i've lived in this new town for 3 years and had one round of disappointment when after 2 years i found out that only one of the several friends i had made actually liked me, while the others just talked about me behind my back, were nice to my face, and then excluded me from gatherings.

i'm very cautious when making friends now. i'm scared i'll do something to turn them off. so i really take it slow, which works for me since my life is full of children. but gosh, i wish i could just get all this stuff off my back so i can just be free to be me. i think i'm awesome (other than that annoying sensitveness), but i dont know how to let go of those hurts and finding out that i was oblivious to people not liking me.

i often think of a quote my mom wrote in this book she made for me where she commented that her mother always wanted everyone to like her. i'm sure i'm the same way. my mom says that this sensitivity is not from her, that she's not like that, so then i'm at a loss. not that knowing where it came from would help, i really just want to know how to not be that way.

any advice?

Friday, January 16, 2009

new year, same goal

after pretty much taking december off of my weight watchers plan, i'm back at 'er.

in december, a new plan was introduced, so we had weigh-in only one day, then Christmas & new years with no weigh-in. so there were no meetings for 3 weeks and i really needed a meeting. i was feeling VERY unmotivated and disappointed with my progress so far, not to mention my lack of discipline and no time for exercising.

so over the holidays, i ate like crazy, soooo much chocolate and baking and such, but i also started doing wii fit on a regular basis. nearly every day i do 20 to 30 minutes. one week i lost 1 lb a day for 3 or 4 days to get me back down to 179, but then it stopped.

so my plan is to keep doing wii fit everyday. i do 3-5 yoga poses (2 minutes each in the bank) then either boxing fit, or step, or the run. which rounds it up to 20 minutes easy. i also decided to weigh myself on the wii fit using the "0 lbs for clothing weight" so that i can judge my fluctuation better.

i'm still not sleeping thru the night and i dont always get a nap, so not resting enough definitely makes me want to eat chocolate or sweets.

i really hope i can have a good loss this week because i'm really getting sick of not being able to wear my clothes!!! i've only got one pair of before&after maternity jeans, otherwise its fairly slim pickins and i'm not the type to wear yoga pants out and about on a regular basis.

i'm trying to focus on the fact that i've already lost 20lbs since Audrey was born 3.5 months ago.
also, i've done this weight loss thing 3 times before successfully, so i know i can do it!

a good piece of advice i heard was to focus on the last meal/snack instead of whats next because it might change your choice when you think back.

happy new year