My parents separated and began new lives very far apart geographically. Christmas with both of them was not a memory I had growing up.
I didn’t celebrate Christmas with my Dad until I was 12 because all of our visits were in the spring or summer. My mother flew from Toronto to Vancouver with my brother and I for our first Christmas together with our Dad and his new wife (of four years) and her two teenage daughters. My mom stayed with her sister nearby.
It was a magical Christmas. My Dad and step mom, Diane had designed, built and decorated a beautiful home. Diane would set aside time with me to teach me how to bake Christmas treats: quick and easy squares, lemon coconut squares, and other easy to assemble treats. My brother always went off to work on projects with my Dad in the shop. It was a lovely visit and I loved getting to know my new step sisters who had careers already and were so cool and accomplished.
We attended several parties, some with friends of my Dad, some with family and my cousins. I was delighted to open a beautiful party dress and an adorable bunny. Twelve is a special age of walking the line of childhood and becoming a young woman. That Christmas filled my heart in so many ways.
When I moved to BC in my early adulthood, I got to spend a few Christmases with my Dad and Diane. It was fun to travel to the different places they lived and spend time together. I don't remember that much about the visits but I guess thats how young adults are, just enjoying what they enjoy--going snowboarding, hanging out together, eating together.
Once the babies started arriving in our young married lives, Poppa and Diane would take the trek over from the Island to come for Christmas dinner. Sometimes those visits were postponed because of the snow, but often they were there. I was always happy to see my Dad cuddling one of my new babies. Sometimes I felt like I was putting the child in his arms against his will, but thinking back, I can see now that joy in his face and his willingness to cuddle a grandbaby. I think I was often insecure about how he was receiving me or my kids because we didn't know each other that well, really.
Heading into Christmas this year, I definitely felt the weight of sorrow and was not anticipating some things like I normally would. Decorating and Christmas tree hunting was significantly subdued for me and quite delayed. We had a wonderful visit at my Mom's with my brother's family. I felt so in the moment and just loved being together after all the sadness of the fall.
Christmas Day we would go visit at my Brother's, and I was really missing my Dad. That's where he would always be. On the sofa, visiting whoever was nearby. I cherish the pictures of him from those yearly dinners, cuddling a baby or watching grandkids gather around. I know now the joy that our family brought to him. I'm so thankful we had a few years of living near to one another so we could get closer in our relationship. He really loved me and my family and made the effort to come to family gatherings all year round.
