i have a fairly relaxed style of parenting...diedre is the boss and so i pretty much just respond to her cues. so that means, tonight at 4.30 when she was really fussy and wanted to sleep, i helped her go to sleep. then she woke up by 7.30 and i had to help her go to sleep again for a couple of hours. it was very tiring, my back hurts from bouncing/rocking her...but i don't regret it. i like holding her. she is so precious and so nice to look at. i am planning to try to teach her how to go to bed by herself when she is closer to 6 months old. not far off yet.
i am so insecure sometimes that when people say "oh, you do that??" or if i hear them bad mouth people who have to rock their babies to sleep, i feel bad, like i'm doing something wrong. its amazing how as a new parent, i was totally inexperienced with babies but i had to learn to listen to some people/advice and let other stuff go.
it is the ultimate test for a people pleaser. there will ALWAYS be someone who disagrees or disapproves--and thats exactly what my personality hates. i want everyone to like me, respect me, support me. but it can never be that way. so fending off my inner thoughts and deprecations is totally necessary so i can focus what diedre actually needs from me. i say that diedre is the boss now, and although it can be hard sometimes, i love my new boss, she's the greatest.
5 months ago